Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
