That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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