so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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