Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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