Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
