He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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