You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
