I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
