So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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