i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
