So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
