If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
My feet surprised me
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