my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
being pregnant is like rehab
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
