just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize