i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
and she was petting her beer can
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Mom said you looked used
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
