okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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