So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
