If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
