Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
