well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
