That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
