I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
