do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
