there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
