I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
