YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
