So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
