Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
