I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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