I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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