Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.

Fav 6 1115 1967
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.

Fav 25 1673 1868
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!

Fav 23 4251 1061
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(406): View more from Montana

This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends

Fav 32 4633 1122
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(540): View more from Virginia

I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger

Fav 37 4575 1073
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(904): View more from Florida

youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb

Fav 26 1062 5657
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.

Fav 4 1654 3314
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(719): View more from Colorado

Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?

Fav 3 1626 771
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(310): View more from California

The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.

Fav 0 53 6
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