ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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