whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
