btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
