when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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