I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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