I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
