note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
