i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
