Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
