Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
