Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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