Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
