I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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