dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
