we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
