And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Randomize
