how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
