I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
