I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
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