Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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